Captain Hitsugaya, the Man's Man
by DarthMittens
Summary: When Hinamori's attempts to get Toushirou to notice her fail yet again, she and Rangiku can come up with only one conclusion: that he must like men. Thus, they take it upon themselves to find him the perfect man. What could possibly go wrong? HitsuHina.


**A/N: Finally back for some HitsuHina fluff. My 30****th**** story, yay!**

**Enjoy!**

**Toushirou the Man's Man**

"S-Shirou-chan," said Momo nervously, grimacing at the taste of the lip gloss on her lips as she licked them. She was glad Toushirou was facing the other way. He had taken one look at her then hastily looked back down at his paperwork. It made her heart clench, but she wasn't going to give up. "D-do you want to go grab something to eat, just you and me?"

"Sorry, Momo," said Toushirou, not even glancing at her. "I've got a lot of paperwork to do. And if you see Matsumoto on the way out, can you tell her I need that report by tonight?"

"H-hai," said Momo sadly, turning around leaving her childhood friend's office.

"Aw, no luck?" asked Rangiku, pouting as she leaned against the wall.

Momo, fighting off tears, wiped the lip gloss off of her lips. "He was too disgusted to look at me. I knew this lip gloss was a bad idea."

"C'mon, Momo-chan," said Rangiku, putting an arm around the smaller girl's shoulders and leading her away from the tenth squad's headquarters. "Lip gloss is barely noticeable. I've had a suspicion for a while now…" she said, trailing off.

"A suspicion?" asked Momo, eyes wide. Did she think he liked somebody else?

"Yes, a suspicion," replied Rangiku. "I think…I think my captain is gay."

Momo began choking on air, the statement completely catching her by surprise. "G-gay?" she said disbelievingly.

Rangiku frowned at her. "You know, like he likes men," she supplied.

"I know what gay means," Momo replied. "I just…never thought. There's no way he can be gay!"

"Think about it, Momo-chan," said Rangiku. "All these times you've tried to get him to notice you, but not once has he even looked at you for one second, not even when we went to the beach and you wore that bikini!"

Momo blushed, the memory coming back to her. She had felt horribly exposed, but Rangiku had assured her that it would have Toushirou's jaw dropping to the floor. If anything, though, Toushirou had gone out of his way to avoid her.

She sighed forlornly. "I guess you're right," she said somberly. "Toushirou is…gay."

"I'm sorry, Momo-chan," said Rangiku, hugging her fellow lieutenant. "They say the first love is the worst."

"Oh well," Momo said, trying her best not to cry. "I'll get over it eventually. Right now, though, we should be thinking about what we can do for Shirou-chan."

"What do you mean?" asked Rangiku, letting go of Momo so she could look at her quizzically.

"I mean it's got to be hard being gay in the Seireitei, that's probably why he hasn't even told me," said Momo. "We should try hooking him up with someone. Which other Shinigami are gay?"

"Izuru-kun!" replied Rangiku immediately.

Momo frowned. "Kira-kun? Really?"

"Honey, I've been in this love game for years," said Rangiku. "Trust me on this one."

"So what do we do, then?" asked Momo.

Rangiku grinned evilly.

* * *

><p>A piece of paper was slid under Toushirou's door. He looked up, spotted it, and went over and grabbed it, turning it over so he could read it aloud to himself.<p>

"Hitsugaya-taichou," he said quietly. "I am desperately in love with you and I have been for years. Please meet me at the third squad's entrance at midnight. Your secret admirer."

Toushirou frowned at the paper in thought. Someone was in love with him?

He sighed. It probably wasn't who he was hoping it to be. And now he would have to go there and figure out some way to let them down gently so they wouldn't keep up with this nonsense.

* * *

><p>Rangiku grinned at Momo, who gave a half-hearted grin in response. Despite her idea of hooking Toushirou up with a guy, it hurt to give him away to someone else.<p>

They shifted in the bushes, trying to get a better view of Kira, who was standing outside of the entrance of his squad. The full moon hung low overhead, thankfully providing plenty of light to see by. He was whistling and scuffing his foot against the ground, waiting for Toushirou.

Rangiku and Momo's plan was quite simple, really. Simple, but brilliant. They had Kira write a letter to Toushirou, the two scheming girls telling him that the only opening he had in his schedule that day was at midnight. Kira had something he needed to talk to him about anyway, so it worked out well. They told them they would deliver the letter but actually swapped it with their own letter, a letter professing a secret admirer's love for the young captain. When the two met, everything would fall in place.

And Toushirou did arrive at that moment, a less than pleasant look on his face. "Izuru-fukutaichou," he said tersely, not comprehending that he was the one who sent the letter. The two matchmakers had also taken this into account, their plan already proceeding just as they had predicted.

"Hello, Hitsugaya-taichou," Kira replied. "I need to talk to you."

Toushirou looked at him oddly. "You're the one who sent the letter?"

It was Kira's turn to look at him oddly, his name having been at the bottom of the letter he had sent. "Of course," he replied.

Toushirou stared at him for a second before recovering himself. "Well, I'm sorry Izuru-kun, but I have too much going on to commit myself to a relationship at the moment."

With that he quickly disappeared, leaving Kira to look at the spot Toushirou had been standing, completely dumbstruck. Then he stiffly walked back into the third squad.

Momo and Rangiku frowned at each other from their hideout in the bushes. It had gone well up until the end.

* * *

><p>Toushirou woke up the next morning wondering if he had dreamed his encounter with Kira. He spotted the letter on his desk, though, and sighed. It was definitely real.<p>

Much to his dismay, when he stood up he found another letter on the ground. It was pretty much the same as the last letter except this time the meeting was set for noon at the eleventh squad's entrance.

So at noon he went to the eleventh squad. This time it was Ayesegawa Yumichika. He sighed, wondering why so many guys were confessing their love for him. "Yumichika-fukutaichou, I'm sorry but you're not my type," he said, not in a good enough mood to be as nice to him as he was to Kira.

"Hitsugaya-taichou?" was all Yumichika had time to say before Toushirou was gone.

Momo and Rangiku, who were standing around the corner of a close building, looked at each other and sighed. They only had one more person left on their list.

* * *

><p>Toushirou sighed when he got back to his office, his frustration level high. He had had it with the interruptions with his work, especially since they made him wonder why he was coming across as gay. Was it some way he was acting?<p>

He placed the letter next to the other one, wracking his brain to figure out how to get this to stop. Then he frowned. The letters…they looked…the same. Not as in the same message, but the handwriting was perfectly identical.

Which could only mean…

He stood up and put his hand on the doorknob, waiting for another love letter to be slipped under his door. Any second now, he knew it would happen. Somebody was playing tricks on him.

He waited over ten minutes like that, feeling for reiatsu even though he knew he probably wouldn't feel anything. Then a corner of a piece of paper began sliding under his door, which he wrenched open and hauled the person in. A small, soft body landed on top of his as he tripped and fell to the floor. As he breathed, the person's scent registered in his brain.

"M-Momo?" he said incredulously, standing up and helping her up.

She was blushing profusely. "S-Shirou-chan," she stammered, wishing she could just disappear at that moment. This probably wasn't going to end well.

He picked up the paper and saw that it was another love letter, this time from Shuuhei Hisagi, vice-captain of the ninth squad. "Momo, it was you?" he asked, looking up at her incredulously.

"Rangiku-san too," she blurted before she could stop herself.

"Matsumoto," he said dangerously. Then his eyes widened as it clicked. Momo Hinamori, his best friend, the woman who unknowingly held his heart, thought he was gay. "Momo, you think I'm gay?"

"Yeah…I mean…" said Momo, blushing profusely. "You don't have to hide it anymore!" she said strongly. "I'll stand by you no matter what!"

Toushirou was staring at her as if she were an idiot. "That's good and all, Momo, but I'm not gay."

"I mean, just because you're gay doesn't mean…" Momo trailed off, Toushirou's statement finally registering in her head. "Y-You're not gay?"

"No, Momo, I'm not gay," said Toushirou. "What in the world could possibly make you think I'm gay?"

Momo blushed again. "I just thought…then you like somebody, right?" she asked, trying her best to change the subject.

Now it was Toushirou's turn to blush, though his expression remained neutral. "Maybe," he said. "Now are you going to tell me why you thought I was gay?"

Momo could tell he wasn't going to let this go. "I thought…I thought…" she said, trying to come up with a lie. Then she sighed and looked down at the floor. "I thought you were gay because every time I tried to get your attention, you would ignore me," she mumbled.

Toushirou sighed in response. "I wasn't ignoring you," he replied. "I did my best to avoid looking at you because I was afraid I was going to impulsively do something that would jeopardize our friendship," he admitted. "It hurt, looking at you being so beautiful yet not being able to do anything about it."

Momo gasped. "You think I'm beautiful?" she asked, her eyes wide.

Toushirou blushed and looked away. "Of course I do," he mumbled.

"Shirou-chan," said Momo softly.

Toushirou scowled and turned back to face her. "It's not—"

He was silenced as Momo kissed him, her soft lips moving gently against his. He gave up and kissed her back, relishing in the feel of her lips against his. She smiled into the kiss and melted into him, happier than she had ever been.

When they finally parted, Momo said, her eyes shining, "I love you, Shirou-chan."

"It's Toushirou-kun, baka," he replied, a smile on his face. "But I love you too, Bed-Wetter Momo." Then he sighed. "I have to get back to work, Momo."

Momo pouted, giving him big doe eyes. "Maybe I have time to share _one_ watermelon," he said, grabbing her hand and walking out of his office with his new girlfriend at his side.

And when they caught sight of Rangiku beaming at the pair of them, they looked at each other and silently vowed to get her back if it was the last thing they ever did.


End file.
